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.•iNsAnE•.•PsYcHo•.•FrEaK•.Я теперь мертв.-ciao bella 5/12/2007 it's unknown but it feels alright• I probably should be in bed, I have to wake up early in the morning.. and do some certain tasks that aren't nessecarily my favorite early morning routine. But I'm just not happy, today was fantastic.. boring and normal but just another day I feel fantastic about getting through. I have some song lyrics by a band called Metric.. I couldn't say how I feel any better than with a song. This song's title is pretty self-explanitory it's called "Grow up, and blow away". I'm sure I'll feel much better after I post the lyrics..
--------------------------------------- Grow Up and Blow Away Floating the room Two by two From the womb To the holiday There is no holiday First double-cross her heart He wants to start a family Needing something to go on If she weren't writing in blood She'd bring him her jokes A new liver And a shovel for the mud If he were not knee-deep in mud He'd bring her his drugs He'd get her a typewriter If this is the life Why does it feel so good to die today? Blue to gray Grow up and blow away... Nobody knows which street to take He took the easy way What was the easy way? First double-cross her heart He wants to start a family She always thought she would not. If she weren't writing in blood She'd bring him her jokes A new liver And a shovel for the mud If he were not knee-deep in mud He'd bring her his drugs He'd get her a typewriter If this is the life Why does it feel so good to die today? Blue to gray Grow up and blow away... First double-cross her heart He wants to start a family Her body is the baby. If this is the life Why does it feel so good to die today? Blue to gray Grow up and blow away... -----------------------------------------
you have a nasty tone
ciao bella 1/1/2007 say hello to the angels•hmm... it's been.. too long away from writing this is probably the last thing I wrote which was written in July I believe, it's now January 1st of 2007. I guess my feeling don't change too often. But as far as I go.. I've changed a lot since july, probably the most I've ever changed in my entire life. I'll probably never be the same person I use to be, but that's okay.. I really didn't like her anyway.
Putting a name on nonsense. I've never seen something so shredded like this.
The dripping of blood from your pupils, this blind bliss
Those empty thoughts of yours make you long to sleep
Enternally deaf, dead, and deep.
These desires make me want to live, believe in these dreams.
You forced me to die, decay. haven't you a meer clue what love means.
I wish my lips were virgins again.
I miss her, the soul, my favorite friend.
I insist you quit asking me if I'd take that gun-shot for you.
I'm already dead so stop the nonsense, you fool.
I loved you. I hated you. I wanted you. I made you.
this monster of mine.
4/4/2006 Pretzel time.woop de woop.•Sometimes I feel like people never listen or understand. Let-alone, even take the time to do either, but I guess I have to realize feeling like that is only human. So yes, I haven't been creative lately and it finally came so I wrote this. Lots of meanings, nothing to be taken personal, just a lot of exaggeration and such. ejoy
Elegance from a tired fire.
Fight breakers, oh. such a distant move. Never doing it again, baby those are just lies to sooth. Puncture something, maybe just this extravagant queen of hearts card. Or elevate me somewhere where you can snap me into a single shard. Let's use technology and make things better... Talk on our little telephones and pretend you'd never met her. So, say it's true that they are not all faultlessly the same. I guess man-whores are essential in this worlds daft game. But the feminine side is not the amatory thing we were once sought out to be. Quite vicious in the antics, frantic ruckuses that you don't see. I've become so miserable with being pushed aside. Living without breathing. Finding reasons to hate inside, it's abhorrence I'm conceiving. You say the old you is gone, then where did the new one go? Me, myself. the sweet... delectable little sweetie is also somehow gone for the show. I'm neither a chemistry professor nor someone to look for importance. Just a sick, scared little girl with no descriptions or subscriptions.
-I'm never what anyone wanted me to be, just a deceiver.- -- -- -- -- -
:)-izx 2/9/2006 Opinionated lovers. til' dawn breaks• Edited.I've chosen to write. Haven't for awhile, so be soft on me. I've been told it makes people feel uncomfortable.
"Mr. Eric from the Mortuary. "
So please, today. Place me gently in the coffin you've made. I'm only special, only cherished in the most priceless of ways. Maybe I do belong in this area. Seems like hell with a little less hysteria. Quit your childish way, and take the road with me baby. Sick minded machine, I'm just too lazy. I hate the way you're scratching me away. The little broke back un-sincere words you say. Trash is trash love, don't be sexist. Painful lily’s on your super fake creep list. Kissing the strangers hand, now you're sleeping with a sick discovery. Disgusting man, you've killed a quiet one, you've killed me. No basic instincts to help you on your way maniac. Using the helpless ones, bastard necropheliac. Making love with the them isn't what it's called. They're screaming at you to stop, can't you see they're being mauled. Thank god you've let us go, but you're not quite done with dead harassment. Embalming us, filling us up with an under class statement. Sick man, you make me puke. Look at the died innocences', you've took.
Burn us already.
12/29/2005 uh.. happy new•I haven't updated this in awhile. Well today would be awhile! Lol yeahh... I have like three people who actually ever read this, I check the little counter on this all the time. But um yes... well christmas just passed by a few days ago... and uh yeah, well it was christmas. And now saturday is new years eve:). This year has gone by slow yet so fast. It's been the most trama. drama. sadness. happiness. loneliness. back-aches(only few know what this actually means). annoyances. heartache. fighting. joyus moments. writing of poetry. fun parties. boyfriend. best friends. cold weather. walking. musicly involved. cell phone. maturity. water experiences. real back aches. fatigue. energy. losses. gains. artistic skills.... I have ever experienced in my entire life. Quite indifferent I would say. Hm... haha yeah. Just interesting things happen with interesting people. I've learned to step out on my own road, and go off of what I think, and know is best. I know people would hesitate to say that I stand up for myself but the last few months I've had to deal with things that people would never guess I have. And well.. in all. I think I'm a stronger person:). Yayy[[clap for the wonderful speach]]. Haha well... actually I'm just letting words fly all over the place. so, this isn't probably anything serious or anything. Hmm. yeah lalala. I'm definately ready to move on to 2006. 2005 is lame. Lol yeah... welll... uhh I really don't know what else to talk about besides the fact that I'm hungry.:) So yes... happy new year. laterz.
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